Archive for Moving Aging Parents
(Hinsdale, IL – February 1, 2011) — The National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) announced today that Christine Smart of Designing Moves LLC, Marion, IA, has successfully completed NASMM’s “Old Like Me” Aging Sensitivity Intensive Training and has earned a Certificate of Achievement.
This program was offered in conjunction with the National Association of Senior Move Managers 2011 Annual Conference in St. Pete Beach, Florida in January. Participants completed a three-hour intensive program facilitated by Vanessa M. Dazio, OTD, OTR/L, CEAS II, NBCCH.
This innovative workshop provided participants with the unique opportunity to literally “walk in the shoes” of an older adult through a series of hands-on exercises and comprehensive sensory perception education. “There are so many common misconceptions about older adults and the aging process,” said Mary Kay Buysse, NASMM’s Executive Director. “This training program allowed select participants to experience the sensory losses associated with aging, while enhancing their awareness of disabling factors, hazards, barriers and conditions that can ultimately influence an older adult’s quality of life.”
As part of the training, participants discussed the impact of the sensory, physical and mental declines they experienced. “I have a broader understanding of what it feels like to be old today,” said Christine Smart. “The aging sensitivity training provided me with a heightened awareness of the hidden, but complex barriers that guide how I serve my senior clients, as well as helped me to identify new strategies to assist my clients in coping with age-related changes.”
Designing Moves LLC started in 2008 with a passion to help older adults with downsizing and moving.
The National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) is a not-for-profit, professional association of organizations dedicated to assisting older adults and families with the physical and emotional demands of downsizing, relocating, or modifying their homes. As the only professional association in North America devoted to helping the rapidly increasing 55+ population with middle and later life transition issues, NASMM members are committed to maximizing the dignity and autonomy of all older adults. NASMM is internationally recognized for its innovative programs, leadership and expertise on issues related to senior move management, transition and relocation issues affecting older adults. For more information, visit www.nasmm.org.
Senior Move Managers Help with Impossible
Posted by: | CommentsDecember 30, 2010, 10:00 am
When Moving Seems Impossible
By PATRICK EGANPatricia Wendler had been trying to sell her Southport, N.C., home for four years. Just before Thanksgiving, she finally got an offer, with one major contingency: Mrs. Wendler, 80, had less than three weeks to move, or no deal.
She and her husband, who died in 2008, had retired to Southport 16 years ago from New Hartford, N.Y. In that time, the Wendlers had accumulated furniture that wouldn’t fit in her new apartment, tools she wouldn’t need and years upon years of paperwork. “I kind of stored everything,” she said.
Her daughter-in-law, June Wendler, described the task of relocation as a “tornado.” She called Jane Roberts, a senior move manager in Wilmington, N.C., for help.
Initially, Patricia Wendler was not thrilled.
“I was a little resentful,” she said. “Why would I need someone like that? I’m not used to having people do things for me.”
The Wendlers are among more than 50,000 families to hire a certified senior move manager this year, up from 30,000 just two years ago, according to the National Association of Senior Move Managers. These services don’t come cheap: Most move managers charge $25 to $60 per hour. A top-to-bottom move can require several days of planning, packing and unpacking, running $1,500 to $4,000 or more — not including the cost of the actual movers.
Despite the expense, many families are finding senior move managers indispensable, and not just because they handle the logistics. Tensions can spill over when an elderly parent must relocate. Hundreds of necessary decisions and actions can swallow time the family may not have; the inevitable negotiations and concessions can trouble even the best parent-child relationships.
Surveys show that the elderly overwhelmingly wish to remain in their long-term homes, and to many of them moving represents a loss of control. “These moves usually are precipitated by something that’s happened — a health crisis, a death of a spouse, a loss of driving ability,” said Margit Novack, a senior move manager in Philadelphia.
A good move manager helps to clear a path to the new home while ensuring that the senior is always in control, regardless of who made the first call. “These people don’t want anyone telling them what to do. You have to walk a very fine line,” said Ms. Roberts.
“We become their surrogate friend or surrogate daughter,” added Judy Rough, a senior move manager in Phoenix.
By taking the adult children out of the driver’s seat, a manager can help circumvent family hostilities. “It really lets the adult child be their companion in the journey. The adult child isn’t the bad cop,” said Mary Kay Buysse, executive director of N.A.S.M.M. “It really lets the family be the family.”
In Southport last month, Ms. Roberts helped Mrs. Wendler sort through what to keep and what to donate to charity. She packed everything, hired the movers and then unpacked in the new apartment. She even photographed the interior of Mrs. Wendler’s former home so as to reproduce the layout as closely as possible, making sure that if the toothbrush sat on the right side of the sink, that’s exactly where Mrs. Wendler would find it in the new apartment.
Ms. Roberts’s efforts won over Mrs. Wendler. “She did things I never would’ve thought of,” said Mrs. Wendler. “She was just perfect.”
Printed in The New York Times Dec. 30, 2010
A Startling Fact about Moving: Relocation Stress
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You’ve just moved mom into a retirement neighborhood and she is suddenly forgetful, depressed, and can’t sleep. You thought this was the best solution for her care and now things appear worse, what is going on?If this scenario sounds familiar to you be assured, you are not alone! I recently attended a seminar by Gero Soultions at the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) Convention that talked about Relocation Stress and Transfer Trauma. Relocation Stress Syndrome (RSS) and Transfer Trauma were approved as a diagnosis in the early 1990’s. It refers to a set of symptoms that result from a transfer from one environment to another. The interesting aspect of Relocation Stress Syndrome and Transfer Trauma is that many retirement communities are unaware of it. As a member of NASMM, I feel it is part of my responsibility to educate people on the subject.
The Symptoms
The following is an excerpt from “Relocation Stress Syndrome in Older Adults” by Tracy Greene Mintz, MA, MSW, ACSW from Social Work Today Vol. 5 No. 6 P. 38 The full article can be found at: http://www.snapforseniors.com/portals/0/pdfs/relocationstress.pdf
“Symptoms of RSS are the same in all age groups. They can include exhaustion, sleep disturbance, anxiety, financial strain, grief and loss, depression, and disorientation. In older people, these symptoms can quickly become exacerbated by dementia, mild cognitive impairment, poor physical health, frailty, lack of support system, and sensory impairment. Do clients understand why they were relocated? Did they participate in the decision? Can they see and hear sufficiently in their new accommodations to learn their way around a new building or neighborhood? Do they have anyone to help them pack or move? Will they remember that this is no longer their home? Can they keep their doctor? Friends? Pet?
For social workers, RSS symptoms meet the diagnostic criteria for adjustment disorder (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV). Moving is an adjustment that some people make easier than others. Mood and mental changes that can occur include depression, anger, suicidal ideation, confusion, anxiety, and paranoia. Some may exhibit denial by over idealizing the move (Isn’t this place wonderful? Everything is just perfect!). Behaviors we are likely to see in older people are somatic complaints, wandering, aggression, isolation, excessive demands for medical and nonmedical attention, and substance use, abuse, or misuse. Physical signs may include pain, agitation, aggression, incontinence, appetite or weight changes, sleep disturbance, and the most dreaded yet too common—falls. Adjustment disorder can take up to three months to manifest. Those can be three difficult and heart-breaking months for residents, family, and staff. In the Los Angeles facility survey previously mentioned, one third of new residents had an acute hospitalization within 30 days of moving into the residential care facility. At the affiliated nursing home, 11% of new residents passed away within 30 days. If the disorder does not resolve after six months, it is no longer about adjustment, and the relocation may have triggered another chronic illness.”
The Last Word on Downsizing
Posted by: | CommentsThe seminar at House of Hope in Cedar Rapids on Downsizing was a fantastic event. There was a great group there and wonderful exchange of information.
We covered Solomon’s view points in the Book of Ecclesiastes to get the right perspective on our possessions. Solomon was the richest king on earth and there has been none like him. As he reviewed his life, after obtaining all that he set his eyes on, he declared it was all “Vanity of vanities! All vanity” Possessions don’t give us true satisfaction. And you can’t take your “stuff” with you!
The need for being in control and having our story heard is an important part of downsizing. We can leave a legacy instead of stuff, when we have a story to tell and some who is willing to listen.
We talked about beginning the process of downsizing by taking pictures of your home as it is, attacking it room by room, identifying the stories of family heirlooms, as well as finding charities you want to support.
The next point of discussion was furniture to consider keeping and how to re-purpose items for smaller homes. We also touched on aging in place and what to consider if you are remodeling and you really want to live in your home as long as possible.
A move to a retirement home is the 3rd most stressful event for an older adult. The recovery process from relocation stress or transfer trauma can take up to 90 days after the move.
The benefits of downsizing earlier are a quick recovery process, a feeling of resilience, re-creation, and a possible new self. Not to mention a better understanding of what is most important in your life.
#1 Tip for Moving Aging Parents
Posted by: | Comments#1 Tip for Moving Aging Parents
The time as come to discuss your concerns about safety and health with your aging parents. They have happily lived in their home of 40 plus years. You have a plan and are determined to take action.
Let me share with you some information from our National Association of Senior Move Manager (NASMM) Conference.
Loss of Control
Most likely your parents will not want to move and when you begin to badger them with facts and figures of why they need to move they will stop listening to you. One important fact to consider is the older adult hates the loss of control they are seeing in their life at this moment. They will do all that they can to maintain control of what they have left – their home. I urge you to ask questions and listen carefully to get an understanding of how they might feel about the situation rather than making requests that will fall on deaf ears. In some situations the best choice is to stay in the home with some modifications. There are amazing options for aging in place. On the other hand the best choice might be moving to the retirement community in the neighborhood. Communities offer a wide range of personalized care and services. Allow your parents to consider the options and choices available.
Importance of a Story
Older adults want to feel that they have a legacy to leave behind, it’s very important to listen to their stories and allow them the privilege of telling it again. Whether there is a move in the future or a need for modification of the home, downsizing of the possessions is inevitable. It is easy for the older adult to part with items if they feel their story has been told.
#1 Tip
The #1 tip for helping a parent through the transition of a move is to ask for qualified help. A Senior Move Manager who is a member of NASMM will guide you through the process as you help as much or as little as you want. As a member of NASMM the Senior Move Manager will have insurance, recommendations, and the tools to help your family with an effortless move for Mom and Dad. One of the fascinating aspects of the NASMM Conference is meeting Senior Move Mangers from all over the United States and Canada. This network of people eases out of state transitions for families by giving peace of mind that help on both ends of the move will be of the same qualifications.
Whether you are moving your parents out of state, around the corner, or helping them to age in place find a member of NASMM to help you sort through the options and reduce YOUR stress.
