Archive for Moving and Downsizing
A Life-or-Death Decision: Your Home by Scott Burns
Posted by: | CommentsA Life-or-Death Decision: Your Home
By Scott Burns 
BOERNE, Texas—Most of the people in the room have gray or white hair. I count 24 when I arrive. At 70, it isn’t often that I lower the average age when I enter a room. Here, I do. The women outnumber the men 2-to-1. This would have filled me with raw delight at a college mixer 50 years ago. Today it is a blunt reminder: Women live longer than men.
I’ve come to listen to Rick Hunsicker. He’s a retirement community marketing consultant, and he is here to map out our shelter choices as we get old. We’re meeting at Morningside Ministries at Menger Springs in Boerne, a canonic but fast-growing Texas town west of San Antonio. Our meeting place is a continuing-care retirement community, known as a CCRC in the trade. It’s where an older person can live independently—but without lawn-mowing or meal-preparation chores. When, and if, necessary you can move to assisted-living or nursing care—all on the same beautiful 34 acres.
I have a personal interest in this. Several years ago I urged a lovely and funny Dallas friend to move to a retirement community. A move, I thought, was the best way for her to deal with a situation that would be manageable in a retirement community—but impossible in her home of 40 years. She didn’t move. It was too difficult. Not long after, she committed suicide.
A few years before that, I had urged my stepfather to sell his duplex in Sarasota, Fla. Move to a CCRC, I suggested. But he didn’t, or couldn’t. Finally he collapsed, exhausted after weeks of daily visits to my stepmother in a nursing home after she had had a stroke. He might have lived years longer—if they had moved before his late-night fall.
Stories in this genre don’t have happy endings. Sadly, few people understand that where you live can literally be a life-or-death decision. The problem here is that we freeze up as we get older. In decades of reader letters, I’ve seen the single greatest error people make is being tied to their homes, even if it kills them.
That’s where Rick Hunsicker comes in. Over the course of 90 minutes, he walks us through the real costs of owning a house. Then he adds the invisible cost of owning a house when you no longer have a mortgage—what economists call the “imputed income” from not having to pay rent. He points out that while your house may be your biggest asset, it is also a major point of vulnerability, subject to repairs and big-ticket replacement costs.
He asks, “What happens if a few of your neighbors are foreclosed and their $300,000 house is sold for $250,000?” The question is rhetorical. “You’ve just lost $50,000,” he says. That’s one of the really bad effects of the enormous overhang of unsold and foreclosed houses across the country.
Then he walks us through a checklist of services that are part of living in a retirement community—meals you no longer have to prepare, housekeeping, transportation, fitness facilities, pool, security, basic cable, Internet access and the proximity of medical care. It’s a long list. Aging homeowners need to buy those things off an expensive a la carte menu, one at a time. In a retirement community, it’s part of the deal.
He’s serious about this side-by-side comparison. Press him, as I had done a few weeks earlier, and he’ll show you his spreadsheet for making the comparison. Put in accurate numbers for the cost of supporting your house and the cost of the other services, and a move that seems expensive can be good economics, as well as a better way to age-in-place.
Many retirees, he points out, are paralyzed. They think they will wait for the housing market to recover before they sell their homes. In the same period, he says, the cost of entering a retirement community will also rise. Why? Because building is at a standstill even though the need continues to grow. At the moment there is overcapacity, so retirement communities around the country are offering special deals and discounts.
The implication: Sell a bargain to get a bargain. It isn’t taking a loss; it’s changing to a better horse.
Senior Move Managers Help with Impossible
Posted by: | CommentsDecember 30, 2010, 10:00 am
When Moving Seems Impossible
By PATRICK EGANPatricia Wendler had been trying to sell her Southport, N.C., home for four years. Just before Thanksgiving, she finally got an offer, with one major contingency: Mrs. Wendler, 80, had less than three weeks to move, or no deal.
She and her husband, who died in 2008, had retired to Southport 16 years ago from New Hartford, N.Y. In that time, the Wendlers had accumulated furniture that wouldn’t fit in her new apartment, tools she wouldn’t need and years upon years of paperwork. “I kind of stored everything,” she said.
Her daughter-in-law, June Wendler, described the task of relocation as a “tornado.” She called Jane Roberts, a senior move manager in Wilmington, N.C., for help.
Initially, Patricia Wendler was not thrilled.
“I was a little resentful,” she said. “Why would I need someone like that? I’m not used to having people do things for me.”
The Wendlers are among more than 50,000 families to hire a certified senior move manager this year, up from 30,000 just two years ago, according to the National Association of Senior Move Managers. These services don’t come cheap: Most move managers charge $25 to $60 per hour. A top-to-bottom move can require several days of planning, packing and unpacking, running $1,500 to $4,000 or more — not including the cost of the actual movers.
Despite the expense, many families are finding senior move managers indispensable, and not just because they handle the logistics. Tensions can spill over when an elderly parent must relocate. Hundreds of necessary decisions and actions can swallow time the family may not have; the inevitable negotiations and concessions can trouble even the best parent-child relationships.
Surveys show that the elderly overwhelmingly wish to remain in their long-term homes, and to many of them moving represents a loss of control. “These moves usually are precipitated by something that’s happened — a health crisis, a death of a spouse, a loss of driving ability,” said Margit Novack, a senior move manager in Philadelphia.
A good move manager helps to clear a path to the new home while ensuring that the senior is always in control, regardless of who made the first call. “These people don’t want anyone telling them what to do. You have to walk a very fine line,” said Ms. Roberts.
“We become their surrogate friend or surrogate daughter,” added Judy Rough, a senior move manager in Phoenix.
By taking the adult children out of the driver’s seat, a manager can help circumvent family hostilities. “It really lets the adult child be their companion in the journey. The adult child isn’t the bad cop,” said Mary Kay Buysse, executive director of N.A.S.M.M. “It really lets the family be the family.”
In Southport last month, Ms. Roberts helped Mrs. Wendler sort through what to keep and what to donate to charity. She packed everything, hired the movers and then unpacked in the new apartment. She even photographed the interior of Mrs. Wendler’s former home so as to reproduce the layout as closely as possible, making sure that if the toothbrush sat on the right side of the sink, that’s exactly where Mrs. Wendler would find it in the new apartment.
Ms. Roberts’s efforts won over Mrs. Wendler. “She did things I never would’ve thought of,” said Mrs. Wendler. “She was just perfect.”
Printed in The New York Times Dec. 30, 2010
Are You in Control of Your Stuff?
Posted by: | CommentsA gentle reminder that sometimes our “stuff” controls us! Please take some time and look around your home, check your closets, drawers, end tables, night stands, the junk drawer, etc. Take one area at a time, pick up an item and ask yourself: Do I love this? Does it bring me pleasure? Do I keep it here because I use it? Or is the item here because I don’t know what to do with it, it’s useful and I might need it someday? If you answer “yes” to the later two questions please consider donating it to your favorite charity.
If you let stuff control you and put off decisions you will soon find yourself overwhelmed. The things that are “worth something” but you don’t use will bury the items you want to use and enjoy. It sets up a perpetual cycle of “I can’t find……” , “Have you seen my…..”, “I need to go buy another because I can’t find the one I had”, etc.
Set yourself free and make a few decisions each day to tackle the things that you let live around you.
When we keep bringing things into our homes and don’t have a place to put it we end up burying the things that mean the most to us. The possessions that do bring us joy and good memories get lost in the clutter and often damaged in the bottom of the pile. As you lighten your load at home your will lighten your spirit as well.
One of the problems with parting with our stuff is the difficulty of disposing of unwanted items. Most towns limit trash to one bag or can and additional bags must have pre-purchased tags. Keep a few tags on hand and try to get rid of the clutter.
Clutter seeps into our homes a little at a time and it can leave the same way. Don’t get overwhelmed with the big mess you see but tackle each area a little at a time.
For a more detailed plan please visit www.flylady.net.
The Method of the Move
Posted by: | CommentsThe Method of the Move
by Mary Christenson
April 25th, 2010 Cedar Rapids Gazette
Christine Smart, of Designing Moves in Marion, is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers. Here she provides 10 tips on how to downsize your possessions if you’re ready for smaller living quarters.
- Take pictures or videos of your home and heirlooms to share with family members after the move.
- Identify the move day, so you can plan how much help you will need and how fast you will have to work.
- Work through one room at a time to avoid feeling discouraged or overwhelmed. Start in a small room, such as a bathroom.
- For each room, sort items into three containers or bags; Keep, Throw and Donate.
- Identify items to go to family members and put their names on the items.
- For family heirlooms you plan to keep, write down the family story about it. If you don’t know it, reconsider whether the item is worth keeping.
- Schedule an auction, consignment or tag sale to get rid of items that are sell-able.
- Locate charities you want to support that are willing to take your items.
- Don’t underestimate the time to sort through your garage, basement, shed, etc.
- On moving day, always move some items yourself so they aren’t lost or broken; jewelry, financial papers, and valuable items.
Designing Moves in the News
Posted by: | CommentsThe following was in the Retirement Living guide in the April 25, 2010 Cedar Rapids Gazette.
Getting back to basics
Downsizing to smaller quarters can be a sentimental journey
by Mary Christensen
Many retirees decide to downsize their living quarters – moving to a smaller apartment, a condo, or an assisted living facility. Less space usually means a reducing material possessions. Seniors should be prepared for a process that can be “emotional, physical and stressful, ” says Christine Smart, owner of Designing Moves in Marion and a trained member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
“It’s like when somebody dies,” explains Nani Reed, 90, who left most of her possessions to other family members when she moved from her Cedar Rapids home to the first of three care facilities. “You mourn,” she says, “but you realize ‘I can’t change it; I can’t make it different’. Just throw away anything you aren’t going to use,” she advises, “and don’t wait until the last minute.”
There’s also less stress if seniors can actively make a choice, says Smart. “People need to feel like they’re in control of things.”
That was an issue for Leone Novy, 92, who left her Solon area home for a care facility two years ago, later moving to Honey Creek Cottage in Swisher where she lives with Reed and six other residents in a home-like setting.
“I didn’t have time to decide” what to keep, Novy says, adding that she didn’t feel ready to leave her home when her family made the decision to move her to a care facility. What felt like a surprise move to her was very stressful.
Rita Banke, 78, of Cedar Rapids made her own choices, leading to a happy change. After drug dealers moved into her neighborhood and her husband died, she realized she was physically, mentally and financially drained, and that it wasn’t good for her to stay in the house where she’d lived for 50 years. When she announced her conclusion to her children, “My sons told me they had been hoping I would make that decision.”
“I’m so appreciative of what I’ve got now,” Banke says of her apartment at Garnett Place in Cedar Rapids, noting that the atrium outside her door, the handy garden for walking her small dog, good food and friendly staff all make it easier to let go of things that wouldn’t fit there.
Jared Ekholm, 84, who downsized several times before moving to Honey Creek Cottage to be near his son in Shueyville, says it was difficult because he couldn’t make up his mind about what things to get rid of. He brought some favorite furnishings with him, but still keeps many pieces in a storage unit, which he can visit if he wishes.
For most seniors, the question of what to keep is answered with sentimental memories. Ekholm, whose wife has Alzheimer’s and lives in a different care facility, treasures an old bell his wife used when she taught in a small country school and journals he kept of their travels around the country and abroad.
For Reed, there’s a Christmas cactus, she’s had for nearly 50 years; but she still wishes she could find the first Valentine she received from her grandchild.
The Last Word on Downsizing
Posted by: | CommentsThe seminar at House of Hope in Cedar Rapids on Downsizing was a fantastic event. There was a great group there and wonderful exchange of information.
We covered Solomon’s view points in the Book of Ecclesiastes to get the right perspective on our possessions. Solomon was the richest king on earth and there has been none like him. As he reviewed his life, after obtaining all that he set his eyes on, he declared it was all “Vanity of vanities! All vanity” Possessions don’t give us true satisfaction. And you can’t take your “stuff” with you!
The need for being in control and having our story heard is an important part of downsizing. We can leave a legacy instead of stuff, when we have a story to tell and some who is willing to listen.
We talked about beginning the process of downsizing by taking pictures of your home as it is, attacking it room by room, identifying the stories of family heirlooms, as well as finding charities you want to support.
The next point of discussion was furniture to consider keeping and how to re-purpose items for smaller homes. We also touched on aging in place and what to consider if you are remodeling and you really want to live in your home as long as possible.
A move to a retirement home is the 3rd most stressful event for an older adult. The recovery process from relocation stress or transfer trauma can take up to 90 days after the move.
The benefits of downsizing earlier are a quick recovery process, a feeling of resilience, re-creation, and a possible new self. Not to mention a better understanding of what is most important in your life.
