Advocating for Your Parents: A Survival Guide to Life Insurance Policies

Designing Moves
Nov 20
3 min read

If you're helping aging parents manage their finances, here's an uncomfortable truth: when you need to access funds from their life insurance policies, you may face unexpected delays and bureaucratic obstacles that test every ounce of your patience.

I recently experienced this firsthand when my parents needed to access funds from their insurance policies they've held since 1963. What should have been straightforward turned into a nightmare of missed deadlines, system errors, and countless hours on hold. Here's what I learned—and what you need to know.

Start Before the Crisis Hits

Get authorized now. Don't wait until there's an emergency to establish your ability to help. Complete the paperwork to become an authorized contact while your parents can still participate. The security process is lengthy but necessary. Be warned that in our case those authorizations are only good for a year! Don’t assume that since you are a beneficiary of the life insurance policy that you can speak to the insurance company on behalf of your parents.

Test your access. Make a practice call to verify everything is properly recorded in their system. Discover problems now, not when you're under deadline pressure.

Document everything. Keep copies of authorization forms, policy numbers, and contact information where you can easily find them.

Build in Massive Time Buffers

We submitted loan paperwork 24 days before our deadline. It still wasn't enough. By day 22, we had no checks and discovered there had been a processing error. We ended up in a frantic scramble involving four phone calls in one day (including being disconnected after 31 minutes on hold) and an emergency wire transfer.

Start any request 6-8 weeks in advance. Processing takes longer than advertised, system errors happen frequently, and you'll likely need multiple rounds of follow-up.

Know the Technical Pitfalls

Upload systems are finicky. Ask specifically: Can I upload multiple documents at once? Which browsers work best? One system couldn't handle multiple document types simultaneously despite being told to "send everything at once."

Receiving a tracking number only means a shipping label was created. It doesn't mean your check has actually left the building. In our case, labels were printed in the morning, but checks weren't printed until overnight and didn't ship until 3 PM the next day.

Customer service has limited information. Front-line reps often don't know internal processing timelines. Ask for supervisors or direct contact with the department handling your case.

Demand Communication

You shouldn't have to call multiple times in one day to learn what's happening with urgently needed funds.

When submitting requests, ask: Who's handling this? What's their direct number? What's the timeline? When will I get status updates?

If you're not getting responsive service, escalate immediately. Document everything—names, dates, times, what you were told.

Your Action Plan

1. Inventory all policies and get authorized on every account. Talk to your parents to see if you have the correct policies and representatives. You may be sifting through a few years of policies that are not current.

2. Meet with representatives or call customer service to understand loan and withdrawal processes

3. Test document systems before a crisis

4. Create a contact list with all relevant information

5. Build time buffers of at least 6-8 weeks for any transaction

6. Escalate quickly when you hit obstacles

The Bottom Line

Your parents spent decades paying premiums. When they need to access those benefits, they deserve better than obstacles and delays. As their advocate, your job is to navigate the bureaucracy, demand accountability, and find reputable resources to guide you in the process.

It shouldn't be this hard. Being prepared and educated is your best defense in advocating for your parents.