The Method of the Move
By · CommentsThe Method of the Move
by Mary Christenson
April 25th, 2010 Cedar Rapids Gazette
Christine Smart, of Designing Moves in Marion, is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers. Here she provides 10 tips on how to downsize your possessions if you’re ready for smaller living quarters.
- Take pictures or videos of your home and heirlooms to share with family members after the move.
- Identify the move day, so you can plan how much help you will need and how fast you will have to work.
- Work through one room at a time to avoid feeling discouraged or overwhelmed. Start in a small room, such as a bathroom.
- For each room, sort items into three containers or bags; Keep, Throw and Donate.
- Identify items to go to family members and put their names on the items.
- For family heirlooms you plan to keep, write down the family story about it. If you don’t know it, reconsider whether the item is worth keeping.
- Schedule an auction, consignment or tag sale to get rid of items that are sell-able.
- Locate charities you want to support that are willing to take your items.
- Don’t underestimate the time to sort through your garage, basement, shed, etc.
- On moving day, always move some items yourself so they aren’t lost or broken; jewelry, financial papers, and valuable items.
A Startling Fact about Moving: Relocation Stress
By · Comments
You’ve just moved mom into a retirement neighborhood and she is suddenly forgetful, depressed, and can’t sleep. You thought this was the best solution for her care and now things appear worse, what is going on?If this scenario sounds familiar to you be assured, you are not alone! I recently attended a seminar by Gero Soultions at the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) Convention that talked about Relocation Stress and Transfer Trauma. Relocation Stress Syndrome (RSS) and Transfer Trauma were approved as a diagnosis in the early 1990’s. It refers to a set of symptoms that result from a transfer from one environment to another. The interesting aspect of Relocation Stress Syndrome and Transfer Trauma is that many retirement communities are unaware of it. As a member of NASMM, I feel it is part of my responsibility to educate people on the subject.
The Symptoms
The following is an excerpt from “Relocation Stress Syndrome in Older Adults” by Tracy Greene Mintz, MA, MSW, ACSW from Social Work Today Vol. 5 No. 6 P. 38 The full article can be found at: http://www.snapforseniors.com/portals/0/pdfs/relocationstress.pdf
“Symptoms of RSS are the same in all age groups. They can include exhaustion, sleep disturbance, anxiety, financial strain, grief and loss, depression, and disorientation. In older people, these symptoms can quickly become exacerbated by dementia, mild cognitive impairment, poor physical health, frailty, lack of support system, and sensory impairment. Do clients understand why they were relocated? Did they participate in the decision? Can they see and hear sufficiently in their new accommodations to learn their way around a new building or neighborhood? Do they have anyone to help them pack or move? Will they remember that this is no longer their home? Can they keep their doctor? Friends? Pet?
For social workers, RSS symptoms meet the diagnostic criteria for adjustment disorder (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV). Moving is an adjustment that some people make easier than others. Mood and mental changes that can occur include depression, anger, suicidal ideation, confusion, anxiety, and paranoia. Some may exhibit denial by over idealizing the move (Isn’t this place wonderful? Everything is just perfect!). Behaviors we are likely to see in older people are somatic complaints, wandering, aggression, isolation, excessive demands for medical and nonmedical attention, and substance use, abuse, or misuse. Physical signs may include pain, agitation, aggression, incontinence, appetite or weight changes, sleep disturbance, and the most dreaded yet too common—falls. Adjustment disorder can take up to three months to manifest. Those can be three difficult and heart-breaking months for residents, family, and staff. In the Los Angeles facility survey previously mentioned, one third of new residents had an acute hospitalization within 30 days of moving into the residential care facility. At the affiliated nursing home, 11% of new residents passed away within 30 days. If the disorder does not resolve after six months, it is no longer about adjustment, and the relocation may have triggered another chronic illness.”
Designing Moves in the News
By · CommentsThe following was in the Retirement Living guide in the April 25, 2010 Cedar Rapids Gazette.
Getting back to basics
Downsizing to smaller quarters can be a sentimental journey
by Mary Christensen
Many retirees decide to downsize their living quarters – moving to a smaller apartment, a condo, or an assisted living facility. Less space usually means a reducing material possessions. Seniors should be prepared for a process that can be “emotional, physical and stressful, ” says Christine Smart, owner of Designing Moves in Marion and a trained member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
“It’s like when somebody dies,” explains Nani Reed, 90, who left most of her possessions to other family members when she moved from her Cedar Rapids home to the first of three care facilities. “You mourn,” she says, “but you realize ‘I can’t change it; I can’t make it different’. Just throw away anything you aren’t going to use,” she advises, “and don’t wait until the last minute.”
There’s also less stress if seniors can actively make a choice, says Smart. “People need to feel like they’re in control of things.”
That was an issue for Leone Novy, 92, who left her Solon area home for a care facility two years ago, later moving to Honey Creek Cottage in Swisher where she lives with Reed and six other residents in a home-like setting.
“I didn’t have time to decide” what to keep, Novy says, adding that she didn’t feel ready to leave her home when her family made the decision to move her to a care facility. What felt like a surprise move to her was very stressful.
Rita Banke, 78, of Cedar Rapids made her own choices, leading to a happy change. After drug dealers moved into her neighborhood and her husband died, she realized she was physically, mentally and financially drained, and that it wasn’t good for her to stay in the house where she’d lived for 50 years. When she announced her conclusion to her children, “My sons told me they had been hoping I would make that decision.”
“I’m so appreciative of what I’ve got now,” Banke says of her apartment at Garnett Place in Cedar Rapids, noting that the atrium outside her door, the handy garden for walking her small dog, good food and friendly staff all make it easier to let go of things that wouldn’t fit there.
Jared Ekholm, 84, who downsized several times before moving to Honey Creek Cottage to be near his son in Shueyville, says it was difficult because he couldn’t make up his mind about what things to get rid of. He brought some favorite furnishings with him, but still keeps many pieces in a storage unit, which he can visit if he wishes.
For most seniors, the question of what to keep is answered with sentimental memories. Ekholm, whose wife has Alzheimer’s and lives in a different care facility, treasures an old bell his wife used when she taught in a small country school and journals he kept of their travels around the country and abroad.
For Reed, there’s a Christmas cactus, she’s had for nearly 50 years; but she still wishes she could find the first Valentine she received from her grandchild.
Advice on Buying Artwork
By · CommentsI love Mrs. Howard Personal Shopper! This week is Q&A with Phoebe: Incorporating Artwork.
Enjoy!
16 Places to Visit in Kansas City
By · CommentsI had an adventurous long weekend with my friend Liz in Kansas City recently. As we arrived in Kansas City we went to Traditions (http://www.traditionsfurniture.com/) Lovely store with Stickle furniture and unique accessories all set in an old stone building. Liz then introduced me to Penzey’s Spices (http://www.penzeys.com/) What a treat! I left with vanilla beans, chili powder, cumin, and basil. I was amazed at the variety and the freshness. I didn’t know there was more that one kind of cumin!
Our next stop was The Curious Sofa (http://curioussofa.com/) Enjoyable store with clean lined furniture, shelves full of soft bedding, earthy accents, and unique jewelry. Before leaving we asked the helpful gal behind the counter to suggest a place to have dinner. Café Provence (http://www.kcconcept.com/cafeprovence/) owned by a French family just across the parking lot was highly recommended. I had the sea bass and Liz had the chicken with a morrell mushroom sauce. Delicious! We decided it was one of top 5 memorable meals we had ever had. The service was fantastic.
The next day our travels took us to The Lamp Maker (http://kansascity.citysearch.com/profile/5835064/kansas_city_mo/dave_smith_the_lamp_maker.html) A must if you need lighting or shades in any shape or color. Take your measurements – they are not on line and don’t ship. Found a wonderful selection of chandelier shades here. My favorites were a gold shade with black bees and a black shade with a molted gold lining. This is one place I will have to re-visit when I’m in the area again. Before leaving we asked the helpful staff to suggest some other places we shouldn’t miss.
The ladies at The Lamp Maker sent us to Hiles Two, just across the street. (http://www.insiderpages.com/b/3716970400) – fun store of accessories for home and wardrobe. I was delighted that Liz found the perfect scarf for an outfit she had been trying to accessorize for 5 years!!
Hiles Too sent us to Webster House (http://www.websterhousekc.com/%20). We were so glad we didn’t miss this place! We had a delicious lunch in the setting of a restored school house. After eating our yummy food and wanting to move into the ladies restroom – absolutely gorgeous decor – I’m sure they wouldn’t have notice me!! We shopped downstairs in rooms that offered kitchen fare, baby and child clothes and toys, antiques and accessories for home and fashion. The caramel corn is dessert to take with you and enjoy on your trip home.
From Webster House we wandered down the street to the Peruvian Connection Outlet store (http://www.peruvianconnection.com/home); one of 4 stores in the world for this catalog company based in Kansas City. Liz found another scarf and I wanted to buy half the store. I love clothing that feels soft and comfortable. The Peruvian Connection sent us down the street to the Black Bamboo (www.black-bamboo.com) saying it was a visual treat. I couldn’t have said it better. Fun design store with lots of Asian influence furniture and very unique items. I loved the red wall behind the counter!
That evening we chose our dinner destination by a newspaper ad! Fridas –(http://www.kcrestaurantguide.com/fridas.html) best Mexican we have had in a long time. Fridas offered a very fresh and fun twist on Mexican food. Guacamole with pomegranate, grilled chicken with goat cheese, and the Frida margarita topped off our night!
First Watch (http://www.firstwatch.com/) was our destination for breakfast. A breakfast place you want to arrive at early! The locals were lining up to be seated and I understood why after a terrific breakfast. After our meal we stopped next door at Her Majesty’s Closet (http://harzfelds.blogspot.com/2009/11/her-majestys-closet.html) Wow – found a dress to wear to the dinner theater! I was starting to feel like the one I took wouldn’t stretch enough with all the delicious food I had been eating. This was a consignment store of high end fashion that had a wonderful boutique feel. A few doors down from here we located the Victorian Trading Co. Catalog Outlet Boutique (http://www.victoriantradingco.com/), another catalog that is based out of Kansas City with an outlet. They had a tea room to rent, clothing and wide variety of Victorian home accessories.
Liz and I finished the afternoon off with a drive to the Historic and Antique section of Kansas City. Here we visited the Knotty Rug Company (http://www.knottyrug.com/index.php?page=home) a wide variety of area rugs with an educated staff. We took a stroll through the Morning Glory Antiques (http://morninggloryantiquesinc.com/)had an impressive collection of antiques for sale. After visiting with the staff here we learned that a lot of their collection and the other stores in the area were attending an antique show in Atlanta.
We rested at our hotel before joining our fellow Rotarian and his wife for the dinner theater production of Cactus Flower at New Theatre Restaurant (http://www.newtheatre.com). The food was fabulous and Loretta Swit and the rest of the actors and actresses were so entertaining! I loved the circular stage that could rotate to the next scene with ease. The 60’s themes sets and fashions were very authentic. The seating was comfortable and yes, you have to have dessert during intermission!
And I can’t forget to mention a delicious breakfast at Mimi’s (http://www.mimiscafe.com/) before our trek back home! Liz’s favorite is the French toast with the cream cheese and orange marmalade filling.
The Last Word on Downsizing
By · CommentsThe seminar at House of Hope in Cedar Rapids on Downsizing was a fantastic event. There was a great group there and wonderful exchange of information.
We covered Solomon’s view points in the Book of Ecclesiastes to get the right perspective on our possessions. Solomon was the richest king on earth and there has been none like him. As he reviewed his life, after obtaining all that he set his eyes on, he declared it was all “Vanity of vanities! All vanity” Possessions don’t give us true satisfaction. And you can’t take your “stuff” with you!
The need for being in control and having our story heard is an important part of downsizing. We can leave a legacy instead of stuff, when we have a story to tell and some who is willing to listen.
We talked about beginning the process of downsizing by taking pictures of your home as it is, attacking it room by room, identifying the stories of family heirlooms, as well as finding charities you want to support.
The next point of discussion was furniture to consider keeping and how to re-purpose items for smaller homes. We also touched on aging in place and what to consider if you are remodeling and you really want to live in your home as long as possible.
A move to a retirement home is the 3rd most stressful event for an older adult. The recovery process from relocation stress or transfer trauma can take up to 90 days after the move.
The benefits of downsizing earlier are a quick recovery process, a feeling of resilience, re-creation, and a possible new self. Not to mention a better understanding of what is most important in your life.
#1 Tip for Moving Aging Parents
By · Comments#1 Tip for Moving Aging Parents
The time as come to discuss your concerns about safety and health with your aging parents. They have happily lived in their home of 40 plus years. You have a plan and are determined to take action.
Let me share with you some information from our National Association of Senior Move Manager (NASMM) Conference.
Loss of Control
Most likely your parents will not want to move and when you begin to badger them with facts and figures of why they need to move they will stop listening to you. One important fact to consider is the older adult hates the loss of control they are seeing in their life at this moment. They will do all that they can to maintain control of what they have left – their home. I urge you to ask questions and listen carefully to get an understanding of how they might feel about the situation rather than making requests that will fall on deaf ears. In some situations the best choice is to stay in the home with some modifications. There are amazing options for aging in place. On the other hand the best choice might be moving to the retirement community in the neighborhood. Communities offer a wide range of personalized care and services. Allow your parents to consider the options and choices available.
Importance of a Story
Older adults want to feel that they have a legacy to leave behind, it’s very important to listen to their stories and allow them the privilege of telling it again. Whether there is a move in the future or a need for modification of the home, downsizing of the possessions is inevitable. It is easy for the older adult to part with items if they feel their story has been told.
#1 Tip
The #1 tip for helping a parent through the transition of a move is to ask for qualified help. A Senior Move Manager who is a member of NASMM will guide you through the process as you help as much or as little as you want. As a member of NASMM the Senior Move Manager will have insurance, recommendations, and the tools to help your family with an effortless move for Mom and Dad. One of the fascinating aspects of the NASMM Conference is meeting Senior Move Mangers from all over the United States and Canada. This network of people eases out of state transitions for families by giving peace of mind that help on both ends of the move will be of the same qualifications.
Whether you are moving your parents out of state, around the corner, or helping them to age in place find a member of NASMM to help you sort through the options and reduce YOUR stress.
Wedding Planners of the Moving Industry
By · CommentsValue Added: The “Move Management” Industry
By Thomas Heath
My 92-year-old mother motors around her two-bedroom, one-floor ranch home in Syracuse, N.Y., with the help of a walker and comforted by a lifetime of mementos, photographs (not enough of yours truly), her old furniture and the daily presence of my brother and sister, both of whom live close by. You couldn’t pry mom from her home with a crowbar.
But many senior citizens aren’t lucky enough to have family in the neighborhood and an easily navigable home. So in steps Transitional Assistance and Design, a Gaithersburg firm that helps seniors move from a beloved home to somewhere more suited to their circumstances.
“When you say moving and downsizing to anybody, their stomach probably goes south,” said co-owner Joel Danick. “What we do for our elderly clients is to make something in a smaller version while maintaining the features of the original. We are the wedding planners of the moving industry.”
A business school professor told me once that if you had enough money and a need, you can always pay somebody to fulfill it. That’s what I thought of when I talked to Joel and Susie Danick, who started the company in 2000.
This is a cottage industry now coming to the forefront, said the Danicks. There are about 500 “move management” consultants around the country, ready to tap into the 78 million Baby Boomers headed for retirement, not to mention the dwindling members of my mom’s generation.
The Danicks started their company when Susie, who was 38 at the time and a part-time nurse, helped move her grandmother from Chevy Chase to Brighton Gardens, a senior citizen living complex in Friendship Heights, right over the line from the District. The grandmother, who was in her 80s, was reluctantly leaving her spacious condominium for a small studio. She feared she was heading toward a nursing-home.
Susie painted the apartment in similar colors to the Chevy Chase place, and duplicated the furniture arrangements in the living room and bedroom areas so they were similar to what she had in the condominium.
“When she went there it felt like home,” said Joel, 50.
The Brighton Gardens sales and marketing agent asked if the complex could show the apartment to other potential tenants, as a model of how cozy the new home could be. Word got around and others started asking Susie if she would decorate their apartments. She had 35 clients her first year.
Link to full article:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/washbizblog/2009/02/value_added_managing_the_move.html
Three Steps to Start Downsizing
By · CommentsWhether we embrace the idea of parting with our excess stuff or not, the fact remains that we cannot take it all with us when we pass on. If we don’t take control of our belongings and where we want them to go someone else will be left with the mountainous task of deciding what to do with our stuff.
The first step is to, take pictures of your home just the way it is. This is Home, this is where you lived for many years, document it with photographs or video. Don’t forget to write down or comment on the video special family heirlooms that the family may not know or may have forgotten. In my husband’s family we discovered a trunk in the attic that his mother, a British War Bride, had brought to the United States full of her belongings. I am always curious about family stories and had fortunately asked my mother-in-law a few weeks before her stroke about her trip to the United States after WWII to marry my father-in-law. She explained to me that everything she owned was in that trunk. Relatives in Wales had bestowed gifts of jewelry, dishes and even nylons, which were in very short supply, for her to wear at her wedding. After arriving in the United States, she discovered her trunk had been opened and many of her belongings were missing. She went on to explain one of the remaining items was a plate, which was proudly displayed in the living room on the end table. None of us knew the history behind the trunk or the plate and we were very grateful to have those family details.
The second step is to start small and attack your bathrooms. Clean out the medicine cabinet, the vanity drawers, and anywhere extra toiletries might be stashed. Check with your pharmacy about disposing of expired medicine – DO NOT flush old meds down the toilet. Old make up is toxic and needs to be disposed of at your local recycle center with other hazardous materials. You’ll be surprised at how much stuff is taking up room that is out of date, you don’t like, or you just plain don’t use. Many shelters will take health and beauty products that you purchased and later didn’t like.
The third step is to begin to look at the big items in your home; this would include your artwork, the furniture, area rugs, grandfather clock, etc. If you are moving, will you have room for those pieces in the new home? Do family members want them? Who would you like to give them too? One system that is helpful is to use colored post it notes, assign a color to each family member and tag items that you would like to give to each person. Take your time and think about your choices; you might even revise the decisions a few times. If you are moving or not perhaps you can think about giving a few things away at Christmas or Birthdays and not purchasing gifts. This will de-clutter your home and make life easier in that you won’t have so many things to dust and care for. Keep the things that you love and that fit in the space you have available.
With these three steps you will have recorded memories, cleaned out the smallest rooms, and assessed your larger furniture. This will give you a start on the process and hopefully encourage you to go through your home room by room. Making decisions about your belongings and appreciating the extra space you are gaining.
